Sketch diary: At a low point
Following up on the last entry from my sketch diary:
Just one more week to go with the radiation therapy, and it’s really tough. I was in a lot more physical pain just after surgery (or before surgery last year when I had a bad infection), but mentally, I am struggling.
I do have a lot of pain. From the constant diarrhea mainly, and its side effects. And other things. And then there is the debilitating fatigue, which makes me incredibly cranky and hard to live with.
I love food, probably way more than most people. Why else would I write about food? At the moment though, my relationship with food is not a love affair, it’s adversarial. The food that is the healthiest - most fruits, and just about all fresh vegetables - trigger the diarrhea. The food that I can eat without making my intestines feel so tortured are the ones that are high in carbohydrates - which make my blood sugar rise. (I should note that I had my blood sugar comfortably under control before all this with a combination of healthy eating, moderate exercise and medication.) Because I don’t know what I can eat right now anymore, I haven’t been eating much at all.
Mainly, this is how I feel. Mainly about cancer.
One more week of radiation therapy to go. Hopefully things will get better after that, and I can feel better about writing about food again. (If you’re interested though, I have been answering a lot of questions on Quora recently, some about food. I think this indicates I need to finally start the Japanese-things blog that I have been threatening for so long, but right now I dont have the energy to set up a new blog, so Quora has to do.)
Thank you for your patience.